Every office needs a joker, someone to help those miserable Monday mornings and those endless fucking meetings seem to pass by that little bit less slowly. There is no reason why that joker couldn't, or shouldn't, be you so for your educational purposes, here are ten ways to make yourself the fun guy at the office.
1. Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if they don't. Then punch them in the mouth.
2. Inform a male co-worker that he "wouldn't make a good hooker," then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs "a good ass fucking."
3. Before a meeting fill your mouth with custard. During the meeting put one finger in the air and make like you're hocking up a big loogie, then spit the custard into a clear glass. Hand it to the person next to you and say, "Beat that!"
4. Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and sees it, tell them its the fake plastic kind. When they try to pick it up and realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point.
5. Run down the hall with your dick out while urinating all over and yell, "It won't stop! God help me! It won't stop!!" Then when it stops...look down and say ... "Oh."
6. Always walk around with a big smile. Keep one hand down the front of your pants.
7. Answer every question with "fucked if I know!" then call the person a racial slur that doesn't even match their race.
8. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your nuts. Get them really sweaty, and then walk around shaking everyone's hand.
9. Ask to borrow someone's pen. Take it to the bathroom, stick it in your arse, then return it and tell the person to smell it.
10. Hang out by the coffee machine bent over with your pants and trousers down and a mixture of ketchup and mayonnaise smeared on your arsehole. Say to all who come by: "Wow, the guy in the mail room sure has a big cock."
1. Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if they don't. Then punch them in the mouth.
2. Inform a male co-worker that he "wouldn't make a good hooker," then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs "a good ass fucking."
3. Before a meeting fill your mouth with custard. During the meeting put one finger in the air and make like you're hocking up a big loogie, then spit the custard into a clear glass. Hand it to the person next to you and say, "Beat that!"
4. Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and sees it, tell them its the fake plastic kind. When they try to pick it up and realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point.
5. Run down the hall with your dick out while urinating all over and yell, "It won't stop! God help me! It won't stop!!" Then when it stops...look down and say ... "Oh."
6. Always walk around with a big smile. Keep one hand down the front of your pants.
7. Answer every question with "fucked if I know!" then call the person a racial slur that doesn't even match their race.
8. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your nuts. Get them really sweaty, and then walk around shaking everyone's hand.
9. Ask to borrow someone's pen. Take it to the bathroom, stick it in your arse, then return it and tell the person to smell it.
10. Hang out by the coffee machine bent over with your pants and trousers down and a mixture of ketchup and mayonnaise smeared on your arsehole. Say to all who come by: "Wow, the guy in the mail room sure has a big cock."
