One question that has plagued the minds of modern man is this: what, exactly, is a pikey? Back in the good old days, you would only ever need to ask one question to determine someone's pikyness -- "Would your ideal house have wheels?" If the answer was yes, then that person's pikey credentials were established.
Today, however, many different factors need to be taken into consideration before someone can claim to be a total chavey. If you are worried that you, or any of your friends, might be displaying pikey tendancies then just read the following 25 statements: the more you agree with, the pikier you are.
1. Soap is that fancy stuff only posh people use.
2. You smoke 40 fags a day, but have never bought a pack in your life.
3. A night on the town consists of hanging around the town centre drinking Special Brew.
4. You've got 2 kids already, but still aren't old enough to vote.
5. The bloke selling the Big Issue is the best dressed person you know.
6. You got turned down for a job as a street sweeper because you were under-qualified.
7. You refer to signing on as "pay day."
8. You wish you could be as smart as Ali G.
9. Eating out involves stealing from next door's bins.
10. You believe that Victoria Beckham really is posh.
11. You've never had a job, but your hands are always dirty.
12. You refer to that dirt as your "fake tan."
13. A night on the tiles involves stealing lead from church roofs.
14. Burnt out cars make ideal garden ornaments.
15. Ideal garden furniture is any that you can get out of a skip.
16. You take a keen interest in other people's drives, especially their tarmac.
17. You admire Austin Powers' dental hygiene routine.
18. Your IQ and your room temperature are the same.
19. You never hit a man with glasses because you prefer broken bottles.
20. You think McDonalds is a classy joint.
21. You buy your aftershave or perfume from the market.
22. You introduce people to your girlfriend and your sister and there's only one girl standing there.
23. You think Kappa is a designer label.
24. You think soap is that hot stuff you drink.
25. You didn't get that last joke.
Today, however, many different factors need to be taken into consideration before someone can claim to be a total chavey. If you are worried that you, or any of your friends, might be displaying pikey tendancies then just read the following 25 statements: the more you agree with, the pikier you are.
1. Soap is that fancy stuff only posh people use.
2. You smoke 40 fags a day, but have never bought a pack in your life.
3. A night on the town consists of hanging around the town centre drinking Special Brew.
4. You've got 2 kids already, but still aren't old enough to vote.
5. The bloke selling the Big Issue is the best dressed person you know.
6. You got turned down for a job as a street sweeper because you were under-qualified.
7. You refer to signing on as "pay day."
8. You wish you could be as smart as Ali G.
9. Eating out involves stealing from next door's bins.
10. You believe that Victoria Beckham really is posh.
11. You've never had a job, but your hands are always dirty.
12. You refer to that dirt as your "fake tan."
13. A night on the tiles involves stealing lead from church roofs.
14. Burnt out cars make ideal garden ornaments.
15. Ideal garden furniture is any that you can get out of a skip.
16. You take a keen interest in other people's drives, especially their tarmac.
17. You admire Austin Powers' dental hygiene routine.
18. Your IQ and your room temperature are the same.
19. You never hit a man with glasses because you prefer broken bottles.
20. You think McDonalds is a classy joint.
21. You buy your aftershave or perfume from the market.
22. You introduce people to your girlfriend and your sister and there's only one girl standing there.
23. You think Kappa is a designer label.
24. You think soap is that hot stuff you drink.
25. You didn't get that last joke.
